Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
