It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize