She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
