i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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