so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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