I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
