so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
