so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
