I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
