I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
