Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
