i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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