shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
