I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
