girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize