It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
