I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
