party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
