I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
