Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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