I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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