why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
