i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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