I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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