Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
