We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
