Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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