Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
