some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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