...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I think i got beer on your cat.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize