Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
