idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
