I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
