I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
