On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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