I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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