I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
