Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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