No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
