But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize