Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
