If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
