Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
