Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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