Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
this is an emotional support booty call
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
