is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
