i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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