I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
