I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
