It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize