oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
