You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
