so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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