We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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