So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
