No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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