we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize