***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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