i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My balls are so social today.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
