I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
