My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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