There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Vodka?
Forever.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
