I hate all girls vehemently.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
