The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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