google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
