He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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