Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
